The Pressures of Potty Training a Little Girl

"You need to potty train that girl already!" "Oh, I think she's ready to be potty trained!" "She can talk, she doesn't need diapers."

Those were the comments I was getting shortly after my daughter turned two years old. I received endless advice and heard countless success stories. As if being in diapers at two was the worst possible situation for a little girl. Then almost as soon as I announced that I was pregnant with my third child the floodgates opened. Countless people were telling me that I had better hurry up and get that girl out of diapers before the new baby arrives. One of the statements I heard the most was, "Girls are so much easier to potty train." I was told stories of mothers potty training their little girls by 18 months of age and how simple it was to do. Basically, I was made to feel like my daughter was behind others her age and I had to catch her up to some invisible deadline.
At first I felt the pressure of wanting to please others and the yearning to have that accomplishment out of the way. I tried. I did. For a solid week I took away diapers. I bribed my 2 year old with Hershey chocolate kisses for using the toilet. I set timers and rushed her to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes after she drank something. I bought her "big girl" under ware. I sang and did a happy dance every time she made it to the toilet. She had ME trained to take her to the bathroom and it was exhausting.
However, after a few days the novelty wore off for her and for myself. Potty time became fight time. She didn't want to do it. I'd catch her hiding behind chairs or in the corner using the carpet as a restroom. I cleaned more messes then I care to remember. My carpet and my patience were suffering. It was frustrating. We were both frustrated, but I didn't want to give up, and I didn't want to fail. By the end of the week she was begging me to let her wear diapers again. She was adamant about wearing them. As a matter of fact, she started putting diapers on herself and changing them after they were soiled. We were both tired and it was obvious that SHE wasn't ready. So I stopped fighting and trying to bribe her to do something she evidently did not want to do. We let it go and I ignored the commentary and advice that I continued to receive.
Fast forward about 6 months. One day out of the blue my daughter looked at me and said, "No more diapers. I'm a big girl now." She took off her diaper, went to her dresser, pulled out the under ware that I had purchased for her months earlier, and put them on. Ever since that day she has been using the toilet. Some days I have to remind her to stop what she is doing and go, and there have been a few accidents every once in a while. Sometimes we've had to pick her up and rush her to the bathroom as quickly as possible. There have been times when we have been out shopping and she waits until we are on the farthest end of the store from the restroom to announce, "Mommy! I have to go potty!"
It's been an adventure for sure, but since that day when she decided she was done with diapers there has been no going back, only moving forward.
To be perfectly honest, dealing with diapers isn't the worst thing in the world. Every child is different and does things at their own speed and with their own style. I learned that my daughter is extremely independent and intelligent. She wants to do everything herself on her own timeline. Sometimes this can be challenging, but in the case of potty training I needed to allow her to do her own thing and not force her into something she wasn't fully comfortable with. She takes pride in her accomplishments, and you can see the satisfaction on her face. Letting her take the lead has given her confidence, which is a quality that I want all my children to possess. Being a mom is a journey and I've learned that there are going to be people pressuring me to do things a certain way or raise my children their way. Ultimately I need to do what is best and what works for MY family and remember that just because something might work for someone else's family doesn't mean that it will work for mine.

Why our family uses cloth diapers

When my oldest was a year old I decided to try out cloth diapers for the first time. He has really sensitive skin and we were going through multiple brands of disposables before I heard about the use of cloth. When I first imagined cloth diapers I thought of ugly rags with ducky safety pins. Boy was I wrong!

I went online and researched all the different types and brands that I could find. There is a social networking site called Baby Gaga that has a forum for cloth diapers. The women in there answered all of my questions wonderfully. They seemed to know the answer to every problem. I went back with different questions like “How do I wash the diapers properly?” or “My child is getting a rash. What is going on?!”.  There is so much information on the internet; I love being able to get my questions answered with the stroke of a few keys. (Link for forum below) 

I was really interested in the environmental side of using cloth as well, and just seeing how many diapers we threw out to be put in a landfill disturbed me. However, what got me hooked was how darn cute cloth diapers are! I slowly added to our stash over the course of a couple years. Every once in a while I stumble upon a great deal and I cannot resist. 

After our second child was born we continued using cloth for months. It was at least 4 months before I became tired of the extra laundry and started buying disposables again. Then a few months ago I decided to sell my cloth to make a little extra cash. When I brought up the box of cloth diapers and started going through it I had a change of heart. There was no way I could say goodbye. It sounds silly but I have a slight emotional attachment. Now months later my children are rocking their cloth again. It's really fun because they can pick out their own diapers. When they are soiled we have a garbage can with a lid and waterproof washable bag in the bathroom that we toss them in. In the summer time we have a clothesline outside that we hang the diapers to dry on after washing. 

When we go on trips or away for more then a couple hours they are back in disposibles because the last thing I want to do when we get home is a load of dirty diapers. I’d rather have nice clean cloth waiting for us when we come home.

Cloth diapers are not for every family but for ours they work great.

Our favorite brands are: 

Bum Genius

Kawaii

BubuBebe 

I purchased most of our diapers at www.cottonbabies.com and www.ebay.com.

For more information on cloth diapers:

http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about1035088.html

http://www.cottonbabies.com/clothdiapers.php

My babes rocking Bububebe diaper covers. 

My youngest happy to be in a Kawaii pocket diaper. 

Ways to Have Fun With Your Toddler at Home

Kids grow up so fast. I'm sure you feel like it was just yesterday that your baby was born.  Don't let anymore time pass by without making memories that you and your child can cherish forever. 
Your kids aren't going to remember all of the times you said no to a new toy or the days you worked late or weren't with them. They aren't going to remember that you fed them the same lunch for a week straight or kept them in their pajamas all day because you were sick. What they will remember is the time you spent together, and the fun you had!
We don't always have the extra money to spend on activities so here are some fun ways we spend time with our kids at home.  

• Have your own dance party! Turn the music on and dance with your toddler. Let loose, sing at the top of your lungs, and make up your own moves. Act silly! Kids love music, pick them up and spin them around.  Have fun with it! If you have any instruments bring them out. Let the kids play the drums, or whatever else you may have. March around your house singing and dancing. Having your very own dance party can be great exercise and a fun way to connect with your toddler.  
• Reading time. I cannot stress how important reading is. Kids show an interest in books at a very early age. Grab a pile of books and announce that it is reading time. Find a comfy place to plop down and make it exciting. Create your own voices for every character and point out all the different pictures. You can add or omit certain words or sentences for learning purposes. Ask questions about the pictures. Show your child that learning is FUN! 
• Cuddle time. Cuddling is another activity that I feel strongly about. Studies show that there are lifelong benefits of cuddling from infancy. "They found a clear link between love and attention in the early years and healthy emotional responses in later life." (Luna Lullaby's Blog) Cuddling shows toddlers that they are safe and loved.  I cuddle my toddlers everyday. Usually in the morning when we all are waking up, we lay in bed cuddling and talking about what the day will be like. My kids and I make blanket tents and cuddle underneath. We make growling noises and snuggle deeper into the covers hiding from pretend bears and big foots. 
• Talking. Talking to a child helps them improve their speech. It also lets them know that they are loved and valued. Talk to your child, ask them questions about everyday objects. "What is that sound? Can you hear it with your ears? Is that the garbage truck coming down the street?" You can talk anywhere, during any activity. It is amazing how much my son has learned from just asking questions and pointing day to day things out. 
• Clean the house. Yes, I said clean the house! We make a big deal out of vacuuming, laundry and picking up toys around here. The kids get so excited to help out. Sometimes we make it a race to clean up all of the toys before the vacuum gets to them. Laundry may take longer with help from the kids but it teaches them to help. They really enjoy putting clothes in the wash and then in the dryer. We also hand them rags so they can "wash" the fridge, stove, dishwasher ect. while we do other hardcore cleaning. Cleaning the house with the kids isn't an everyday thing, we just don't have the time for that. Every once in a while I break out into the "clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere" song and they know I'm serious!
• Make your home into a museum! Now with Pintrist you can find a craft for just about every occasion. Sure they may not turn out like the pictures, but your kids aren't going to know the difference! Make crafts with your kids. Let the creative juices flow. We have a craft cabinet in our kitchen. It is full of construction paper, glue, markers, crayons, paint and random supplies. At least once a week I sit the kids down and attempt a craft. My son thinks it is great! Immediately after finishing whatever project my son wants to hang it on the wall. The result is our own little art museum on our dining room wall. :) 
• Movie night!! At least once a month (usually on a weekend) we have a family movie night. We pick out a family/kid friendly movie and make snacks. Then we lay out blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the television. Trevor's uncle calls it carpet camping. We all love it and I look forward to staying up late cuddling with my family. 
• Take silly pictures! Kids LOVE seeing themselves on the screen. Use your digital camera, smart phone or laptop webcam to capture silly pictures. Have fun with it, let loose and laugh. It's always fun to go back months/years later and look at all the pictures. 

All of the things I talked about are free. I guess the point I am trying to make is that spending quality time with your children is important. It doesn't matter what you're doing, as long as you're doing it together. 

If you would like more information on any of the topics above, the websites below are great resources. Or feel free to use google! :)

http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/toddler-learning/toddler-music.aspx

http://www.parents.com/blogs/red-hot-parenting/2012/03/13/health/3-ways-to-talk-to-your-toddler-that-pay-off-academically-10-years-later/

http://blog.lunalullaby.com/2012/01/lifelong-benefits-of-cuddling-your-baby.html