Monday, October 13, 2014

Life with 3 kids, the first three weeks home....


We brought our littlest addition home 3 weeks ago. Our family is now 5 members strong. (plus our dog Dakota) I'm not going to lie and I'm going to tell it like it is. The last three weeks have been the hardest and most stressful of my entire adult life.

They let us come home from the hospital after just about 24 hours. I was excited to be able to get some sleep without having nurses coming in every few hours. My uterine contractions were pretty intense and painful so I was given some pain medication to take home. The nurses told me that uterine contraction pain can get worse with each pregnancy. Luckily, my parents stayed at our house for a few days to help out with our 4 and 2 year old. That was so helpful and gave me plenty of time to sleep. It was a great first weekend home. We had some visitors and so much extra help. Friends of ours even brought dinner over one night so no one had to cook, that was one of the greatest gifts we could ever receive. (I highly recommend doing that for a friend/family member) Our new baby only woke twice every night to eat. It was wonderful.
Reality hit me hard when my parents went home and my husband went back to work. I was left on my own to discover being a stay at home mom to 3 kids. It wasn't so much the baby that was difficult to get used to. It was everything. It was getting my older kids to understand that when the baby cries mommy has to tend to the baby. When mommy is breastfeeding she can't jump up to get them more milk or open the cabinets for a snack immediately when asked. The older kids reacted by crying and whining. A lot. Maybe they thought that if they were like baby that daddy and mommy would rush to meet their needs as well. It started to become utter and pure chaos in our home. I was exhausted, my husband was exhausted and our oldest two kids were feeling neglected. Everyone was emotional. There was a lot of yelling and crying. It was such a blessing when we'd have visitors because they would cook for us and give our older kids attention. I was far too worn out to play with them, so it was great.

About a week after we came home from the hospital my husband's job stopped having work for him. He has been working and training as an HVAC installer for the past year. Secretly, I was excited that he would be home with me to help with the kids. There was also that fear of, "How are we going to pay our bills? Our mortgage is due soon, how are we going to pay it?" After 2 weeks passed with no work we made the decision for him to look for work in the same field elsewhere. It was scary because he'd only been at the job for a year and we weren't sure if that was enough time or experience to get offered another job. Still, we had to try. So he sat down and wrote a resume. Then I looked over and proof read it. The next day he went out and applied at a few different HVAC shops. Almost immediately he started getting call backs. It was amazing. He went for his first interview the next day and was offered a position on the spot. The new job started today, so I'm back to wrangling the kids by myself. We are just thankful that the job hunt only lasted a day and not weeks.

Our older two kids love and adore their baby sister. They love laying down on the floor watching her, holding her and talking to her. I don't think our problem is jealousy because they don't seem to be mad at the baby. They seem to be mad at my husband and I when we can't tend to their needs immediately. I think that even with my husband home full-time it was frustrating. I felt like getting ready to leave the house everyone was running around in circles trying to figure out their place. Newborns need so much stuff it's insane. As a family we just need to figure out a routine that works for us, and that is going to take time. I'm hoping that it gets a little easier everyday. 





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